About Me

Life: a learning experience Life is an individual experience of existence. Have I “existed” enough to look back and summarize my journey throughout my existence? Or was I just wandering solely relying on the spirit who we call “the Creator”? I’ve climbed the mountains of joy and, as well as, been strangled down by the ocean of failure and chaos in my 19 years of life; though, Life has always been a mystery but it’s our decision to name that life as “life” after solving that mystery or before. My upbringing was not easy but the excitement of seeing the world as a home for everyone; even for evils¬-who I condemn to be created not born-got a grip on me. My entity, similar to everyone, has been full of thrones but I’ve always looked around those thrones and noticed beautiful flowers ready to bear fruits. All those thrones who scratched me and teased me to my bones by spilling my burning blood has been the trait to make my way colorful. Contemplating on my high school days, I reminisce the challenges I confronted as a young boy wrestling with issues and struggling with low self-esteem. The defining moment occurred during the first coding contest in my high-school, where I found myself project-less and oblivious. This experience served as a pivotal turning point, reshaping my perspective from a frustrated “I can do nothing" to an empowered "at least I can try.” Although I didn't get victory in the subsequent coding competition, I successfully conquered my self-doubt. Now, my goal is to serve as an inspiration, sharing the belief that improvement is achievable for anyone navigating the tumultuous waters of self-doubt. Growing up in a middle-class family, the simple joys found in my father's t-shirt and the occasional dimes received at month-end fueled with my passion. These humble circumstances reinforced my dream of becoming a web developer, a dream charged by the resilience born from financial struggles to establish my own place where I find me in others. My daily life has helped me comprehend that power is not determined by physical size but by the size of your dream and the enthusiasm. So, I carry strong belief of becoming a web developer, realizing that the compass guiding my quest for self-discovery was always within me. The journey of finding 'me' was a solo expedition, shaped by introspection and resilience. I found the contentment hiding in those busses of perception where I found an answer to “what defines me?” Was it monetary values or others’ perspective regarding me, actually none of them was. It was actually the content I found throughout my living which was keeping eye on me silently from those puddle of storms: It was not about what I have achieved, it was about what I have learned. My journey, though changed, has not been without its struggles. The ambivalence I once feared has, now, become a canvas where I paint my unique narrative every day. I have come to appreciate that uncertainty is a dynamic force that propels personal growth. As I stand on the precipice of college, I carry those lessons learned from navigating uncertainty. I am longing to embrace the uncertainty and challenges that lie ahead me, knowing that each drawback is an opportunity for growth despite self-doubt like I faced while in my high-school. But, Life's unpredictability, once a source of agitation, has become a flare guiding me toward new experiences now. I see myself now; I noticed a new me which is shaped by that ambivalence trapped within me, but I was able to escape that by embracing my own biases and out-coming them with the belief of becoming what I have become today- better as a computer student and a person. I see those obstacles as the wind conveying the smell of flowers and breathe of the swarm which, eventually, showed me the taste of liberation.

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Comming soon
    -Ut Sh Ab